Monday, July 31, 2017

Irish Ass of the Week


“Only one woman is among the top 10 best-paid BBC presenters. Now, why is this? Is it because men are more charismatic performers? Because they work harder? Because they are more driven? Possibly a bit of each. The human resources department — what used to be called “personnel” until people come to be considered as a metabolising, respiring form of mineral ore — will probably tell you that men usually work harder, get sick less frequently and seldom get pregnant.” -Kevin Meyers


Wowie, wow, wow. In this day and age, to see such blatant misogyny and racism, is mind boggling. Yeah, living in the world of Trump, the slugs have come out of their bomb shelters, so hate has been working overtime. But, this guy, Kevin Meyers, is truly the ass of the week, and he's not even an American! Meyers wrote for The Sunday Times of London, until last week, when he was fired for this article. Well, that was great that he was fired, but as others have asked, how did such trash get published? How did it pass the editors eyes? Either the paper never edited Meyer's work, or, they thought it was a great write. I expect more  heads to roll.


Sunday, July 30, 2017

Saturday, July 29, 2017

The Scary Moocher


More from Scaramucci interview....

"And then I says, Mooch, ya gotta get that asshole out of the way, ya know what I mean? I see youse looking at the suit. Like it? It fell off a truck. Anyways, where was I, Yeah, that mother*#@!%# in your way, Mooch, gotta talk to the boss about that dick. I says, boss, you know I'm loyal to you. Didn't I wait in Joisey for you to call me while you had "prickbus" kiss your behind? I stayed cause I know where my bread is buttered. I says to the boss, next is that Bam Bam. Yeah, he gonna go boom. Ya know what I mean? Hey, you doing anything tonight? Who does your make-up? Looks good. I told that Huckabee chick she looked good, but she's kind of squishy looking. Anyhoo, back to me. Yeah, I waited for the boss to call me. I acted like it was no big deal when he got on the ringer, but between youse and me, I was dancin' in my thong. Yeah, picture that for a minute. You know, I could get you a nice Italian handbag. I think one's gonna fall off a truck, tomorrow. Hey, babe, don't go. I got more to tell youse about the 'prickly penis' and 'bada bing bada bannon.' Know what I mean. 'Hey, bit*^!"


*Purely fictional (((wink, wink)))
** I'm  outta here. You, &@!#!!
***The Mooch lasted ten days. Bada Bing bada bang.

Friday, July 28, 2017

He's A Rebel



He can be an ass, a dick, a big whiny baby. He has also proven to be honest, caring, and a rebel, indeed.

Today, he is my .hero.

*The other two Republicans who voted, Nay- Susan Collins (Maine) Lisa Murkowski (Alaska)

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Dulled Pickles

Omg, that was excruciating, watching Huckabee Sanders read "Pickles " letter.

Gahd, can your nose get any browner,lady.

I  can't post video cause I'm writing this on phone. Here's the letter.



This is why other countries are laughing at us. I'm going to hide under my desk now, from embarrassment. 

Our State Fair


You have to go to at least one fair during the Summer, so, why not go to the king of fairs, the State Fair? There is nothing like holding a giant cream puff, melting ice cream cone, and cotton candy, whilst perusing the piggy pens. You must spend $75 pounding on moles to win a $2 stuffed frog.

Start early, throw sleeping kids, grumpy partner, soggy sandwiches, and lots of water (must leave in car. Not the kids or partner. Just the food.) into vehicle.

See...

the bunnies...

chickens...

cows... "mooooooo."

Eat...

cream puffs...


cotton candy...

grilled corn...

cheese curds...

anything on a stick.

Whack...

a mole...

Enough whacking.

Ride the...

Fireball...

Roller coaster...

Ferris Wheel...

Tilt a Whirl...

Sit in the...

beer garden...

shade...

porta potty.

Don't forget...

wipes...

aspirin...

sunscreen....

and kids.

And remember, it's only once a year.

*Update: My sincere condolences to those who were killed and/or injured whilst on a ride which broke apart, at the Ohio State Fair. (I had written this post before the accident occurred.)


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Fin


Seems some folks are upset with the Discovery channel. They promised a race between Michael Phelps and a shark. I guess a computerized shark wasn't good enough. People expected Phelps to race against the real thing.

Let's pause for a minute and let that sink in (pun). A real shark. Discovery never claimed it would use Jaw's cousin, Morty, to race, then eat, Phelps. I'm sure they didn't mind that some people assumed such a contest.

I'm guessing some of these people also enjoy NASCAR, bullfighting, and boxing.

Really. A real shark.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Sister Whoa, Woes

Dear Ms. Blabby,

 Me again. This time a more serious dilemma, one that is making my tummy hurt. Okay, here goes...

I don't have a lot of money, but it's enough for me. I pay bills on time and eat well... The issue it seems with my big sister is that I should save the little I have left. For me, that extra is what keeps me happy. I go on trips. Nothing outrageous, just trips around the country. I even try and go the cheapest way. Yeah, so piggy bank is rather low, really low, like $50- 60 low most times.

Big sister is angry with me. She even went so far as to tell me I should cancel next trip, which has already been bought and paid for. I know she worries. We came from nothing, had nothing. For this, she is the worry wart and counts every penny. Yes, she is doing well. Obviously, I have chosen the other road, one where money doth not matter. When I have it, I spend it. I'm living in the present.

Sedona, Arizona, next trip

I love my sister, yet, she has always judged me and I'm getting too old for this. Our relationship has been sporadic, not even seeing each other for years because we are so different. It's just in the few past years that we have tried to be real sisters. I don't want to lose that, but my guilt and tummy cannot continue.

What do I do, Ms. Blabby?


Hello, Dear friends, Ms. Blabby is offline for the next few weeks. Take care!

Friday, July 21, 2017

Plan B From Spaced Out

Hilarious. Besides the news that Trumpet is talking about pardoning himself and his clan, this dude came up with a funny one. Yeah.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Over The Moon


On this day, way back, on this date, a man walked/hopped on the moon. So they say...

I love a good conspiracy. Given that Trump hasn't opened his gob about aliens coming to town (unless he is one) I'm assuming we haven't had any visitors, yet. I used to believe everything that was written in the papers. Now, I read everything with a bit of cynicism. I'm not going as far as our "leader," who sees "fakers" behind every bush. But, we do have to question and verify every bit of information we are given.

So, on that note, I'm giving the conspiracy theorists some space (good pun) as well  Right, HERE.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Don't Ask, Do Tell


This little story is so intriguing. A house for sale, plus (read, HERE) you get the mystery tenant upstairs, and you cannot bother that tenant under any circumstances. Ha! There is no way I'm not gonna look to see who is up there.

Yet again, I'd have to think about buying it. Could be anyone...

Elvis

Amelia

Hoffa

The Grim Reaper....

Monday, July 17, 2017

Romancing the Revolution


Wow, what f-ing B-s*#!. Women who chose to find true love with ISIS scum, now, some claim they had no idea what these men were like. Who are they trying to fool? If you can read, if you have some intelligence, if you live on this planet, you know how vile and disgusting these animals are. Did these women think it was going to be some romantic adventure? It just boils my blood. Now, these women have children, these women are not welcome home, their idea of love and loyalty, shattered.

Tough shit. ladies. I don't know what is going to happen to you. Perhaps, some time in prison? That should squash any sense of romanticism you see from death, rape, torture, that blinds your vision.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Talk Into Your Shoulder


Dear, Ms. Blabby

 It happened again. Let me explain. Yesterday, I took a walk to a local mom and pop store. I was early so it was just myself and an employee. We said our "hellos" as she let me in the door. She complimented me on my choice of purse, then proceeded to follow me as she talked. The problem was, I don't think she was talking to me. It's rather disconcerting. I confirmed my assumption when I asked, "What?" (Never said I was articulate) She chuckled and said she was just talking out loud. Yeah, I can hear you, lady. (sort of) She continued to talk, sometimes looking at me, as I nodded and slowly moved away from her. My hearing is not the best. I blame listening to Baba O'Riley at 120 decibels back in the day. I hate to ask people to speak up because I am hearing challenged. Sometimes I just think people mumble. How do I handle weird situations when I'm not sure if people are actually talking to me? Don't tell me they usually will be looking at you as they speak. I have found out that not to be the case. What do I do, Blabby?

If Lips are Moving

Dear Ms. Lips,

 Oh, I know your dilemma. Why just the other day I had a lovely conversation with the plumber, only to realize later he had been talking to his boss on his cell phone. I did think it odd he talked into his shoulder the whole time.

Dear, it's a new world. Just assume if you are in the same space as this other person who is babbling, they are speaking to someone who is not there. It's confusing, I know, but it's a new world, one I think has become rather isolated and anti-social, no matter the new tech ways to communicate.
Read my lips, dear. You can ask, "You talkin' to me?" or, babble into your own shoulder. That way people will assume you are hip to the new way of the world.

Sincerely, Ms. Blabby.

P.S. "It's (not) only teenage wasteland..."

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Don't Drown, You Clown

Courtesy, UWMadLibraries
Main Street, Kenosha, back in the day
Here we go again, Kenosha. Flooding is the big news in Southern Wisconsin. It came down and down and down. And all the houses were smoted, smited, flooded, sogged and sacked.

May I say, same old, same old...

Okay, some citizens get a pass because this truly was a nonstop deluge. Nothing you can do no matter how many sump pumps and sand bags you have.

It's the others, you know, the ones I have talked about before, the ones who continue to live in the flood plains, crossing fingers they will never have to go through what they just went through.

The Velodrome is underwater. It was just renovated last year. Oi.

Not the velodrome

I feel bad for ya all, fellow cheddarheads. The good news- I have not heard anyone dying from floods, although not from lack of some boobs trying. I didn't know illiteracy was a big problem, here, but that's another story. As news reporter stands in front of flooded road, cones in place, vehicles continue to drive through.


Well, it's their car, their life, their choice. You can swing by the local stop for a cup o' joe with your kayak, like this fellow who just had to have his coffee.





Anyhoo, we will survive. It's been a trying year for testing our inner selves. I would put the iconic image of this cat... Oh, what the hell...






Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Do As I Say, Not As I Do


Really? Really!? We are supposed to believe the Jr. met with nefarious persons to get dirt on Hillary without Daddy Trumpbucks knowing? Those boys kiss daddy's tiny hands, and do nothing without his knowledge- let me add- allegedly. Let's just imagine Clinton meeting with Russians. Oh, I can see the uproar from the Trump clan. And what the hell is Ivanka doing amongst world leaders!?

This is all highly


  • incredible

    • laughable
    • ludicrous
    • nonsensical
    • outrageous
    • preposterous
    • silly
    • unbelievable
    • wacky
    • antic
    • comic
    • comical
    • contemptible
    • daffy
    • derisory
    • droll
    • farcical
    • foolheaded
    • gelastic
    • grotesque
    • harebrained
    • hilarious
    • *Words by thesaurus.com

    Tuesday, July 11, 2017

    The First Time is Painful


    I waited so patiently for this day to come. It was my first time. My first time as a Prime member whose day of magic had come.

    (((THUD))) That's the sound of an Amazon box dropping on my head. Prime Day looks a lot like every other deal day, which is actually every day, not every other day. The thing is, the stuff they want you to buy is, shall I say it? CRAP. Oops, hope I don't lose my membership into the most elite membership, as Bezos counts his coins, laughing maniacally whilst fools feel obligated to buy something. I'm sure there is a blacklist somewhere, which keeps track of who buys and who passes up so-so, stinky deals.

    Well, the first time is usually painful and disappointing. Maybe next year, unless I'm blackballed by smiley.

    ** Update: Looks like Amazon did very well. People were buying gel pens like nobody's business.

    Monday, July 10, 2017

    I'm A Grub Worm


    Okay, call me a grub worm. I felt bad for Patton Oswalt after his wife died. He seemed devastated by the loss. So, months later, he is now engaged to another woman after only three months of courtship. Yes, he has gotten some criticizing for moving on so quickly. He called these doubters, "grub worms."

    Add me to that list. Hey, it's your life. I get you want to move on and you have every right to do so.

    Yet... I just find it hard to believe you can move on so quickly after you lose the love of your life.

    Oh, I'm just a squishy grubby worm,
    twu love it really makes me squirm.
    My lowly opinion matters naught,
    twu love was real, I somehow thought.
    Call me a meany, call me a slime,
    I have an opinion that I can rhyme.
    Now, Patton Oswalt hates my guts,
    twu love is crazy, it's rawther nuts.

    Saturday, July 8, 2017

    Vida La Vida

    I love to read when people live to an old, old age. I hate it when they are asked what their secret is to longevity. There is no secret. It's a little mix of genes, maybe some luck, and who knows what.

    It's not the wine, the cigarettes, the sex, the chocolate.... It just is.



    Friday, July 7, 2017

    The Food Desert


    Well, well, well. Our local Pic N Save is shutting down. It was built only a few years ago in order to serve people in what they call, "the food desert." Problem was, the prices were too high, theft was rampant, register lines remained unused. I hated the store, too. The fruit was usually inedible, either hard as a rock, or ripened to a fibrous disaster. The store clerks were usually grumpy, especially when someone pulled out their food stamp card, and yes, I witnessed the card being pulled out often. I give kudos for Pic N Save giving it a go, but they really didn't try too hard to serve the people who needed help the most. (Critical me asks if they got a tax break) I avoided the store and took the bus to my fave place, plus, there is a Super Walmart at the outskirts of town. (I also hate Walmart) I haven't been there in quite sometime. It is always jam-packed with hustling bustling, pushy shoppers. The Super Walmart is about as old as the Pic N Save, yet already looks, well, that grungy look they all get, eventually.

    Anyway, not good for the food desert. Hopefully, an Aldi's or something in that line will take over. I'd hate to see another abandoned building in this town.

    Thursday, July 6, 2017

    "It's Only Logical"*


    It's provocative, fascinating, and it makes my stomach lurch, if true. The image going around which could be Amelia Earhart, and her navigator, Fred Noonan, is just one more puzzle regarding the disappearance of the two. It's been eighty years, yet, people still want to solve the mystery. Does this image finally close what happened nearly eighty years ago, or, just add more speculation? As that wise human/Vulcan, once (may have) said, "It's only logical." Nothing logical here, folks. Do I think the government knew Earhart had been captured by the Japanese and kept silent all these years? Why? What would be the point other than to hide their own complicity, knowing the two were now prisoners and did nothing. That is what makes me feel ill. This woman, locked in a cell for years, finally succumbing to illness, or, even torture. Gahd, how awful.

    I hate when we are shown images and expected to see with certainty, yes, this is Amelia. Short hair, same body type...  Wow, you've really got to reach, here.

    Yet.... what if? Eighty years later, this woman still evokes emotional reactions.

    *Allegedly intoned by Mr. Spock, although I cannot find direct quote."

    **Update: In thirty minutes the story was "debunked." Seems image was taken two years before Earhart went on her last trip.

    Wednesday, July 5, 2017

    Being There


    I doubt this will be a very popular post, but I've gotta stick to me guts and those feelings.

    I read this article in Huff Post, and, although it sort of takes another tack on moms and prioritizing jobs and family, it gives me a chance to mouth off , becoming an old geezer when this subject comes up.

    Yes, women want children and a super career. Can it be done, well? Sure, anyone can work eight, ten hour days, come home, feed the kids, yada, yada, yada. To me that's filling time, not living life. I just don't think you can have both and one not suffer, and I don't like the odds for kids. It really makes me sad, so sad (sorry, I sound like Trump) when I see mom's and dad's dropping off their young ones at daycare, leaving someone else to mold and influence your child. Of course, the ideal situation is to have one parent stay home. Yes, yes, I know it's nearly impossible, but then what is the point of having children- just to have some reproductive apples rolling along? Yeah, staying home with children all day, all night, can make a human hide in closet and want to scream. Them's the breaks, folks. Don't have kids, then. Oooooh, I can feel the frigid breeze over my shoulders. Hold on, I'm not done digging my hole. Like I said, it would be ideal for one parent to stay home with children, preferably, the mom. Yeah, I said it. As every guilty person on Judge Judy says after the verdict, "It is what it is." All these studies are not going to change anything. It's a dilemma from time immemorial.

    Did I practice what I just preached? Yep. Times were tough, some years. Mom and child had civil wars. I wished I could have done more for me, yet, I don't regret that time. Raising children is a JOB, the absolute hardest, with the least amount of pay, but the most amount of reward.


    Anyway, there it is. I'm sorry I sound like a conservative. I am not. But family xcomes first, and to me that means being there.

    *update:  I just wanted to add, it doesn't matter to me whether it's mom/mom, dad/dad, vulcan/human, as long as one is there for the kiddlewinks.


    Tuesday, July 4, 2017

    Gahd Bless Us, One and All

    The fourth parade where thingy can draw awful pictures of Clydesdale horses.
    Ain't this country great?

    Happy Fourth, fellow Americans! Now, for all the whining and complaining I do about our seemingly dire circumstances in this country, what with this place run by the court jester and his band of fools, it still is a wonderful country. There are not too many places in this world where we can 'beyatch' on the state of states, where we can wiggle and waggle our fingers and nose at the head of state and still have our heads and toes. Those guys, these dudes

    who broke away from their own country to start this one may be shaking their heads, or, they may be giving the thumbs up because this country is a democracy, whether we agree on the outcome, or, not so much, we the people choose our path.

    For that we can surely celebrate.

    Uh, Hmmm, WTF, kinda movie

    The movie, 'Swiss Army Man, ' is so strange I can't even tell you if I liked it. It starts out with a man on an island  (al...