Have I heard it all? No. I have recently learned women use oak gall balls to tighten their nether region. These balls carry the larvae of wasps. Seriously, who thinks of these things?
(((lalalala))) "Oh, look balls on a tree. I think I will stick one in my mouth. Oooh, that hurts. It's making my mouth pucker and tighten. Ooh, I think I will put a few in my vah-jay-jay. Aaaaaaaaahhhhh, the pain! I feel something. Oooh, I'm going to pass out, but before I do I will memo myself to get a patent. Oh, fuck, that hurts."