Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Who's Saori Now?

Gosh, I don't want to come off as sexist, but I suppose I will. In this true tale I found in the Washington Post, this fella has a thing for a gal, a plastic gal. Wow, she looks real, except for the, no one is home, look. (See more pictures through link)


The thing is, would a woman do this? Would she get herself a plastic man? Me, No way. I don't want some dude laying around the house all day, saying nothing, doing nothing. It's weird, man.

Okay, I would get a companion if I got really lonely. He'd be somewhat hairy, and yes, the quiet type, too. But, it ain't weird, man. (Only $99 and it purrs)


Monday, January 30, 2017

President Who?

Look, we just ignore him, go on as usual. What's he gonna do, sue us all? That's all I have to say about that for now.

***********************



Let's talk about other things inside my head. There is some commercial which reminded me of how much I copy movies in my every day life, like when I'm in a restaurant and we've been waiting awhile. In my head I'm thinking, "I'm a doctor and I want my sausages." No, I'm not a doctor and I don't eat sausage, but I think it. It's a line from an episode from 'Fawlty Towers.' Fortunately, I only think these things. Here are some other ditties I use quite often...

When I'm on a walkie and some fool is getting too close to my caboose I think, "I'm walking, here!" (Midnight Cowboy)

When I'm put on hold, "One ringy dingy, two ringy dingy." (Lily Tomlin as Ernestine)

Well, who doesn't use, "Inconceivable!"? You are not a true film buff if you don't know and use that line. (Princess Bride)

When I meet someone for the first time and know it will be the last time, "We'll always have Paris." (Casablanca)

When people are rude, "What is your problem, you insensitive asshole!" (Planes, Trains, Automobiles)

And lately, when the our meteorologist starts the weather report with, "Cloudy with..." I have to add, "...with a chance of meatballs."

I know I'm not alone. Some people even say things out loud and I get it.

"It's a good thing." (Martha Stewart)

"Bazinga." (Big Bang Theory)

Saturday, January 28, 2017

I'm a Hot Crossed Bun


I usually don't make any new year resolutions, but I have started a diet which coincidentally started on the first. I think about food all the time. I'm not starving myself but I have given up the sweet stuff- and I love the sweet stuff. Chocolate, pancakes smothered in syrup, cake... (((drooling))) Food and our country going to hell in an (egg foo yung) handbasket, are all I think about. It sickened me to see this morning's news. But, we knew it was going to happen. Hope you assholes who voted for the turkey are happy. You don't realize how many Muslims have helped us to keep terrorists out of your sweet potato garden.

And I am so sick of Paul Ryan. Ashamed I am, that a fellow cheesehead would stoop so low. He will kiss turkey giblet ass for a steak, I mean, stake in the apple pie.

I'm going now. I need to heat up some soup for lunch as I think of what I really want (see below)


Friday, January 27, 2017

Special Sauce and Don


Hey, remember this guy, Don Gorske, who has eaten one McDonald's Bic Mac every day since 1972? I recognized him from the news this morning, handing out the 'special sauce,' in McDonald's giveaway. I see people are selling the bottles for thousands. Jeesh. What a world.

Here's my ditty about Don, composed in 2011. By the way, it took me hours to find this post because I didn't label my posts. Words to the wiser, don't be like me.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

The Alternate Facts of a Dog's Purpose


So, I saw the video of the dog in the movie, 'A Dog's Purpose,' (now out) who is clearly refusing to go into the water, although the trainer tries to force him in. I also saw Dennis Quaid, yesterday, try to defend the actions of trainer and crew. Quaid was on Access Hollywood, looking very uncomfortable, as he said the video was highly edited; then added some BS about the dog not liking that spot and some ad hominem babble asking why the video is coming out now. Well, Quaid, like dogs, humans seem to have a short attention span, so showing the video now instead of fifteen months ago, was a wise idea. Quaid is really using the 'alternate facts,' card in this one. Must really need the money. It's not a movie I'd go see anyway and going by the video, it's not a movie anyone should see. We are na├»ve if we believe animals are not subjected to harm in filmland. I'm sure the people who train animals try their best to keep animals from being harmed. Injured animals are useless. It's a job- a job that has to pay the bills. You can twist it all you like, in my humble opinion, the animal was in distress. In other words, abused.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Day Six


If this does not frighten you, then I doubt I can change your viewpoint. I truly cannot believe what is happening in this country, to this country. After Trump was elected I had originally decided not to spend too much time on this blog writing about him. I can't do that. This man is dangerous. His views, his beliefs, his twisted mindset cannot be ignored. That also goes for all those who voted for him. I don't intend to go backwards in time. If we don't learn from past atrocities, then civilization is doomed. My only hope is that we are not too late.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

I Just Cannot Come Up With A Title For This


Hmmm... yes this is what we eat. Apparently, the folks in Iceland have to travel to get a taste because McDonalds left in 2009 (oh yesh, a very bad year) because the economy tanked, so some clever fella bought the very last one and it's been sitting around doing nothing for the last seven years, two months, three weeks, four days, twenty some minutes..... And you can watch it live, doing nothing.

And I watched.

Vending Review


I fell in love with vending machines when I was a mere tot, whose parents seemingly only joy besides the Old Style was bowling. You can only see so many asses bending over, twisting in pretzel shapes before one gets bored. So, I roamed. I could not believe the things you could buy in the ladies room! Oh, if only I had 15 cents, I could buy a tiny sewing kit, with scissors! I do believe I spent too much time coveting the tiny razors and other feminine goodies. I'm sure I begged my mom for spare change, and received a response of, "We'll see," which meant no because that would be cutting into their beer tab.

My fascination did not dwindle as I grew up. My first cup of coffee was from a vending machine. It was delicious.

So, I can understand Japan's love of the machine. I think the other reason I love them is because it's a private experience, just you and your desire inches apart by glass and coin. Even when I use the self checkout I get annoyed because there is some yahoo standing near, watching to make sure you don't skip the scanner. It bugs me.

Unfortunately, I don't see too many vending machines anymore. Not ones that hold cool stuff, anyway. I guess shopping online is about as close as I will get to a bit of privacy and some obvious drooling. I haven't figured out where to stick the dollar bill, though.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Yummy, Unicorn

Let's call this... the year of weird. I buy a lot from Amazon and try to find different things to look at. Well of course they have weird. What's really weird is you still pay for this stuff. Someone will buy that ball of nothing, I'm sure. Actually, I have my eye on the unicorn meat.





Ten bucks for nothing




Hey, if you don't like that, you're weird.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Update on my Town, Now Called Skittleland


What the hell? I thought my land was cheddarland. Seems I was wrong- again. We are the land of red skittles. Did you know? I did not know. Good thing I'm a vegetarian. I don't want to get diabetes.

But I digest, uh, digress...

Yes, I watched most of the travesty which happened today. Very staid and stoic, I must say. If only I could read lips. I cried when Mr. Obama left.

Now, about that special where Erin Moriarity came to interview some folks in our town...

I'm kinda pissed. She talked to some old white people who say they are concerned about jobs. Seriously!? What the hell do they have to worry about? They're frickin' old people on social security. Really, worried about jobs. Did you see any young people there? People of color? As Moriarity said, Kenosha is doing better than the rest of the country when it comes to jobs. We have a giant Amazon facility which I myself keep in business. Frankly, I was disappointed but not surprised by the opinion of the boomers.

And did you see Paul Ryan!? That cat swallowed the bird. Gahd, and this was day one.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Coming to my Town


I wasn't even going to turn on the talky box tomorrow for the circus until I noticed an article in the local paper which noted 48 Hours was in town to talk about Trump. They came to my town because this has been democratic country since 1972. It also is a very divided town. 255 votes changed history, here. According to this link to story, some people at the Coffee Pot would not even talk because of family differences over who should rule this country. It's sad to see that people expect this town to go backwards. (Read between the lines) I have no idea who they interviewed, but I do know the only time I was a customer at the Coffee Pot, the only person of color was outside, sweeping the sidewalk. Hey, I love this town. I feel bad when I'm strolling along downtown, I wonder about the people I see. Did he vote for him? Did she? Life is tough and there are no miracle workers. If this town is expecting one, I hope for them life gets better. I hope for all of us it does not get worse. 48 Hours, with, Erin Moriarity will be shown at 7pm, on CBS.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

I Need More Than an Inch to Satisfy Me

Ugh. I don't know about you but I have never had an orgasmic moment whilst nibbling on a one inch (wait for it) piece of chocolate, or one of those fiber bars that taste like glue and cardboard. I'm really sick of these stupid commercials which show women lingering over a tiny morsel and then smiling as if in Nirvana. Give me a break. If it's her thirtieth piece, perhaps, but no one can feel such pleasure over a stinky little bite. Get real, ad marketers. Do you really think we are fooled by such nonsense?
I want a commercial where the woman eats a whole bag of Reese's buttercups. She's happy in the moment, oh, so happy, yes better than sex, happy, but like a one night stand, she feels remorse later. But, will she stop? Hell no. Hence the fiber bars. Maybe you can combine the two.

Make it real, folks.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Dozey Do'h Olympics


Ha! Here's a video and the story about a mom trying to sneak out of baby's room without waking him up.

Been there. It's amazing what your body can do when you are trapped with a finally sleeping child and now need to move without disturbing the imp.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

I'm Ready For The Game


Oh, it's an exciting day in Cheddarland. We will be in front of our talky boxes, watching the Packers kick some Cowboy arse. But, what about the food, dear Thingy, you ask? I have it covered kids. (((wink, wink))) Of course, we must have cheese curds. I never heard of these exotic creations until I moved from the Flatlands to my beloved adopted land of cheese, porno shops, brews, and cows. But, what else is on my list, you ask? Hmmm.. perhaps this 1970's recipe guide would help. Aaah, nothing like contented guests and a belly full of curds and mystery meat.





Friday, January 13, 2017

Thursday, January 12, 2017

So Much Time Put Into This Silliness by Moi

. .





I love Monopoly. Good memories I have with the game, plus it's fun, especially on a snowy day, playing with your angst ridden teenager who hates everything about me, but when we play this game, it's like a truce has been set.

Hey, Monopoly needs ideas for new game pieces. I saw many of the pieces suggested. As much as I love the game are we forgetting what it's about. People flipping houses. People going to jail for fraud. People sticking their paws in the company kitty. So let's get real about those pieces, shall we?


So sorry, something happening here. Anyway, spent way too much time on this poke. Kim, Kim, Putin, You know who, Hillary and a homeless man. Yeah, let's get real.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

All The News You Need, Today

Before I go where I want to go, I've been pondering....Why do the characters on Big Bang wear jackets?

There was a scene where Sheldon and Amy are driving somewhere, both wearing jackets whilst Sheldon is giving a weather report. It's 79 degrees!! Here in Cheddarland, that's a frickin' heat wave. We'd be out in shorts if it got as high as 56. I know it's not just a tv thing. A relative mentioned visiting folks in Arizona and these people complained it was too chilly because it was in the 60's.

It's a very odd dilemma.

Anyhoo... I found a new website, kids! Oh boy. It's the Bali Elephant Cam.


Oh, you peeked. I actually spent hours watching people (employees) walk back and forth. Then they brought out the elephants and brought them to the pond where tourists got on and rode around whilst the elephants bathed, then they rode around some more and mostly men walked the path, one man sweeping the trail with an old school broom. It was awesome! Don't go there now (9am, my time) The ellies are sleeping.

Speaking of tourists... I've been reading, 'Innocents Abroad,' by Mark Twain,


where he travels the whole half of the other side of the world (for a mere, $1,250) He's a great writer, but to me reading this is so disturbing because he is such a racist. His whole group of traveling assholes are horrible. Ugh.

One more thing before I go. Sometimes my dreams are a tad too realistic. My first job was cleaning rooms in a hotel. I still dream I'm cleaning rooms. The detail is too real.


I still can see myself picking up shoes and making beds and pulling out a dog from under the bed. Where did that come from? I don't want to clean and it feels so good to wake up and realize I don't have to clean other people's crap, although I feel quite exhausted.


One very last thing. Can you break a rib from coughing?


The worst of my bronchitis is gone, yet, when I cough now, it hurts terribly right in the rib part. Just pondering...

Ahem, one very, very last thing. I found this photo of our former president, Millard Fillmore.


Doesn't someone who is portraying our future dictator look like him?


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

I Can't See The Googlers Through The Trees


Dear Googlers,

  I know it's a good thing to keep your employees happy and busy, especially the tech crazy. If you didn't give them legal work to do, they'd be hacking sites and storing our money into Swiss bank accounts. You are messing with me, today. Did other bloggers have the same problem trying to get to their blog, or are you just playing with my head? I don't want an assistant to help me through the forest, just get me to my blog!

I'm old. Let me have my tiny little piece of the world and quit making me lose my way. I do not want to end up in that Cloud.

Signed,
Thingy, aka, Maggie Jean

Monday, January 9, 2017

Burning Fences or Frankfurters or Something


What the hell? A Bush girl in tears because she got reamed on Twitter. Twitter is the new Gladiator vs. Lion. She's right, she is not perfect and no one is, and I'm sick of people hiding behind the internet to point and jeer. See what ya got me doing, defending a Bush! (and pointing and jeering) (((sniff, sniff)))


Sunday, January 8, 2017

James and Jim Bite the Dust

No, they weren't a one hit wonder, they were just a wonder. I saw an article in one of the online news factory but forgot which one. Of course Wiki has a list. But, I digress... Back to Kansas, or not Kansas, but James Corden and Jim Parsons spoofing the band. Heelarious. Um, might they be a one hit wonder?


Saturday, January 7, 2017

Our Eyes Wide Closed


I haven't seen the video, have only read what happened to the young white man who was beaten by four thugs. I didn't mention it on my post earlier because I was waiting for someone to say, "She/he is a good person." Yeah. it happened. Grandma, who raised the girls, said it. Clearly, they are not good. I'm sure they all some moments when they cared for someone. I'm not going to get into a black vs. white issue, although, that the color of one's skin can bring such rage is hard to comprehend, No, not because of anything they have done. It is about the color of their skin. It's hard to fathom what they were thinking as they filmed their violence. One girl seemed baffled why no one was commenting.


Something is clearly wrong here. Chicago has suffered, the people have suffered. So, what to do, what to do. Seems no one knows. Blame grandma, who raised her children's children? Blame the thugs parents? Maybe. Are they around?

So much hate. It's not a new thing. The only difference is we can all witness it.

Grandma defends one. Something so very, very, wrong

Friday, January 6, 2017

Hush, I'm Polishing My Bullets


Ten years before society breaks down!? According to this scientist, who says it's not gobbledy-goop, but, fact, that means for real, folks. He doesn't blame the rise of Trumpism, but it is a factor in why he believes all hell will break out in ten years. Good to know. He says he is telling us this so perhaps we can change our ways. LOL. What a looney.

We are doomed.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Aaw, Geez, Forget Fuyang


Wow. That is not fog, people. This is in Fuyang, China. I have no plans to visit Fuyang or Fuyong this year, although I am planning a trip which includes passing through Fu-argo.

I want to see this country before I can't see it. I want to feel like Sacagawea,

without the hairy, smelly men, and with a nice pillow for my head rather than a horse saddle, and no dropping babies from my hoo-ha. Other than that, it should be exactly the same.


Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Rosie's Door


Poor Rosie. I feel bad for her, although, what she said could be taken out of context, and I'm guessing if it had been said about our still in power president, Mr. Obama, she'd have some people knocking on her door. I'm not sure exactly what we are supposed to do in regards to O'Donnell's warning. We can ignore everything he says, sort of like the citizens of Iran, who in public bow low to their loon, then in privacy, dance to Prince. We can protest, protest, protest, while DT sits in his Ivory Tower, laughing and tweeting. Yeah, Rosie is going to have a rough year.

She's not alone if that makes her feel better.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Make Mine A Size Venti


Huh? Seven in the morning, no coffee yet and I'm trying to follow this story. Right now, I'm confused. Come along with me whilst we see how my brain works, or, doesn't work.

An article in the faux news... A woman suing Kleinfeld Bridal because her dress did not fit and wasn't even what she had ordered. She wants her 12 grand back but Kleinfeld refuses. This news from TMZ. TMZ? the gossip hawgs? Why is that... oh, so there is some reality show--- hold on, I must delve further (without coffee) Hmm, looks like nice dresses. Did she order online? How can you order a wedding dress online, especially one for 12 grand? What's happening, here? What's the reality series (Say Yes to the Dress) about? I'll be right back... This show has been on since 2007. Wow, where have I been? Pretty basic concept I think. Show a woman in the process of choosing her gown, and all the fittings and stuff. People watch this? Laws, I need my coffee. Hold, please. Who is this woman, Randi Siegal? let's see... Ooops, looks like website closed.
Sorry I took so long, I got involved in some of the episodes. Hey, I didn't know Dads went to bridal fittings. Eeewww, Dad is picking out the dre... Anyway, here's a sample of the show. I can't find Randi. Oh, poop.

I can't upload. Umm, go to YOU- know what to see episodes.

I still don't what's happening. Let me grab the brandy...

Uber, Uma, Uber, Uma

What am I missing? Why is Uber such a big deal? Isn't it just some taxi service? I vaguely remember when a cute little car was show...