She relied on the tv for a break. It was the lower class version of a nanny. TV was how my mother and I forged a bond. It was always on, always there for us five girls and mom. Dad hid in his bedroom with his own mistress and watched baseball. Growing up it was difficult for me to break away from instilled habits. Even if I was doing something else like cleaning, nanny was always in the background, voices and flickering light soothing me.
So, two years ago I literally threw out the telly. I was so sick of faux news, ambulance chasing ads, violence, and just brain-numbing crap.Still, I missed a few things, like Sunday Morning, The Big Bang Theory, and local news. So, I let nanny in my house once again a few months ago in the newly formed 48" super slim style.She looked good, but soon I was following old habits and turning on the "judge" shows. There must be at least 15 judges making powerfully bad choices for the weak and weary. And the f#@*&^! ads for people needing a lawyer, or, whiter, brighter teeth ticked me off.
My lowest point was turning on Dr. Phil last Friday as he 'interviewed' Shelley Duvall. Yes, I was appalled at the audacity of this "doctor," to show in front of millions of viewers the deepest, darkest possession of mental illness. I can only recall one moment when Duvall was lucid. The whole hour was a disgusting travesty of Dr. Phil trying to converse with her.
Yet, I watched.. I also wanted magic to happen. I wanted her to get better. Still, there was no reason to put her through this facade of, "I'm going to help you," bull.
And yet, I watched.
I'm sure Dr. Phil, in his own creepy way really wants to help people. He also likes to be in the limelight. The money is surely an incentive to put humans through such mind cringing moments of the lowest forms of humanity.
I felt dirty after watching the show. I feel terrible even now. No, Dr. Phil could not save Shelley in the hour, days, weeks, his team spent with her. I hope she does get better. I hope she can get well enough to tell off all who exploited her, including myself.
I really need to tell nanny to go home. I think I want to grow up.
P.S. On a good note, Vivian Kubrick has started a GoFundMe.com fundraising campaign for Ms. Duvall.