Sunday, November 13, 2016

Kiss My Ashes

I have been making plans for my future demise. Hopefully, it will be somewhere, way, way, in the future, yet, it is good to get that out of the way, and also make it clear how I want my cold, dead body to be disposed. I know I have no control how I go but I'd prefer it to be quick, so quick I would have had no opportunity to say, "Oh, shit." I wouldn't mind walking on a beach and then stepping on a landmine, although, I doubt that to be an likely scenario in Wisconsin.

There are steps to take preparing for the unknown.

1) Die.

2) Make sure I'm dead. I cannot resist a tickle.

3) No party, no crying (okay, a little wailing will be fine) no music, food... you get it. I will go into the Ethernet without fanfare.

4) Cremation, (Unless I did indeed step on a landmine. Disregard step 5)

5) Scatter my ashes in my favorite place.

Unfortunately, only my older sister knows of step five, and it is possible she may go before me, although, she takes better care of her shell. So, it is also likely I may sit on a shelf, in the backroom of a crematorium until we all turn to ashes.

I do have a point, here. I really believe in cremation. As much as I love strolling through cemeteries and reading names and engraved epitaphs, I find it such a waste of space.

Come on, think of it! Embalmed (toxic) bodies that  lay in a box forever and ever.

To me, that is weird.

Enough of this, now. Let's go take a walk on the..... Uh, perhaps I'll just go get an ice cream cone.

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