Saturday, June 12, 2010

La Rose a Color'e des Lunettes


He said to call him Doc. Said he was in town to collect happiness from the townsfolk.

But, there were some in the town who didn't butter up to the Doc. He never talked much, just a word here or there. "Cookie?" he'd ask, which seemed a mighty strange thing for a Doc to ask. He always spoke in some strange language some guessed passed for that french crepe.

When the coach rode into town, the Doc could be seen lurking in the rose bushes and before the strangers had a chance to dismount, Doc would jump out of the bushes with a rose in hand.

"Welcome!" he shouted. "I am the spokesperson here in our tiny, exclusive shallot. Care for some bubbly tea? We are a shy, but a kindly group of merrry makers. Please, when you can spare a moment, take this simple survey, won't you? Aw chante and au revere. Please stop by our seweray later."

On board the stage coach was a tall, good looking man who took a dislike to the doc right away. Something just didn't set right with him. 'What kind of doc lurks in bushes and wants everyone to take a survey?' the tall man asked himself.

He had a job to do, and it didn't involve takin' no surveys or drinkin' any bubbly tea.

"S'cuse me, scuse me, I must interject my opinion here and now," said a man with a vase on his head. "These people are good... no, I mean they are bad. Yes, that's it. Watch my lips move as I talk out of my ass. It's intentional, I tell you, yes, yes, I know everyone and they are rotten to the core..oh, no, they are good, yes, yes, very good. So long now, hello."

The tall man could only shake his head and chuckle. 'Very strange goings on here', he thought. 'I think I'll head over to the diner and grab a bite to eat.'

He took a seat at the counter and watched as the gorgeous waitress with the long brown hair and longer shapely legs walked over to take his order.

"Can I help you tall man?" she asked quietly.

"I'll have a slice of chocolate cake with a glass of milk, please," the tall man replied.

(sigh) "Sorry, tall man, we only serve bubbly tea and cookies. Doc's orders."

"What's going on here, gorgeous lady with the long legs?"

The gorgeous lady with the long hair and the longer legs leaned over and whispered, "Meet me in the general store by the sewing threads in one hour and I will try to explain everything then."

As the tall man waited, he watched the town folk stroll by. 'Something just ain't right. They all seem like they're in some sort of trance, like they been hypnotized.'

Just then, the man with the vase on his head ran up to him. "Run, run..no, stay, stay. Doc is heading this way and he don't  seem happy. Are my lips moving? Oh, I must go.. no, I will stay. Goodbye."

"Tall man, dorme vou, have you taken our survey yet? Do so, quickly. My assistant will be back shortly to assist you with my request. Parlevou and Bonswa."

Just as he was about to let loose with some French of his own, the gorgeous lady came running down the street. And just as Doc was turning the corner, the lady and the doc ran smack into each other.

"I will report you!" screamed the Doc. "Toe the line!"

As the gorgeous lady chuckled and tried to walk past the 300 pound man, her long hair got caught in the Doc's lumberjack coat button and the coat flew off the doc to reveal, not a man, but a sad, little old lady who wore a french corset over her granny pants.

A gasp was heard from all around. The townspeople woke up from their trance and realized they had been duped. They could only look down at their feet and slink away.

The little old lady pointed her bony finger and shouted, "It wasn't me. It was my assistant. I am the Doc, I am the....oh, pepe le peu."

"Come with me, tall man," gestured the gorgeous lady with the long hair and longer legs. "I will make you that cake, but don't expect any roses on it. Too many thorns, wouldn't you agree?"












3 comments:

ex-ferrer said...

This was EXCELLENT!

Thanks!

Sue J said...

Oh, I REally enjoyed reading this.
More please :)

thingy said...

Thanks guys. : )

I Am All Pow(dot dot dot) oh, sh*#!

Seriously, is this guy's ego so big he thinks he's more powerful than the sun? What a goof. Anyway, we are still here. Not tha...