Monday, March 17, 2014

If it Quacks...

Do you plan on seeing the movie, 'Noah,' "inspired" by a famous book, the Bible? Wonder what the dialogue would be if a modern Noah told his wife he was going to build a great big boat and collect a male and female of all the species in the world?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What the hell are you up to now, Noah? Is that a squirrel in my kitchen cabinet?"

"The flood's coming. I heard voices last night telling me to get ready. Can you tell if that's a woman squirrel, or, a man squirrel, dear?"

"You heard voices? How come these voices never tell you to mow the lawn, or, clean out the gar....Aaaahhhh, what is that!?"

"It's the Dells' Ducks. Gonna use them to gather up the animals, two by two. Larry's coming by with a net later. Said he was gonna catch something. Can you head over to Piggly Wiggly and buy some canned goods, then go over to Farm and Fleet and grab 500 tons of grain, corn, and a nice slicker for the deluge to come?"

"Suuuuuuure, hun. Here comes Larry with that net. Just stay calm, dear. It's going to be just fine. Juuuust fine."


  1. I didn't care for the book. You kinda had to suspend all rationality to believe the story. Frankly, you could drive every semi-tractor trailer on the road today through that tale. As a rule of thumb, bad books make bad films.

    Now, a film made from your well-crafted post? Oh yes, I'd see that!

  2. What Noah & his wife were saying is a great thought & one that hadn’t occurred to me before. All the kids in my grade school knew what the Lord & Noah were saying, though. Ask any one of us in 1964 and we’d have told you they were saying “Righhht.” Unlike ex-ferrer, I personally dig the Old Testament and don’t regret having given the whole thing a read, with the occasional skim and the occasional re-read, depending on where I was in the thing.

  3. Russell Crow's in it, so I won't be watching it. Looks like a load of tripe anyway.
    If you want another slant on Noah watch this on YouTube:
    Mrs Brown's Boys - The Mormons

  4. I may watch it although as with Sue, I'm not Russell Crow's biggest fan and usually avoid all things 'him'.

    I can remember Mrs.Brown referring to all the animal turds Noah would have to deal with by saying "We had two hamsters for a month and they near shit out the house!"

  5. If I remember right, Mrs Brown had a lovely daughter. Girls as sharp as her were something rare. But, it was sad- she didn't love me more. She made it clear to me- there ain't no use to pout....

    At least that's how I remember it.


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