When a co-worker mentioned her feelings of anxiety because she was going to be spending time this week-end with her dysfunctional family, it reminded me of my own situation with my four sisters, and how we are no longer close, although I once thought we were partners in "disburbia." I understand how strange that is, not keeping in touch, especially when I see how other sisters have a strong bond, talk every day, spend time together. Yeah, sometimes it hurts. We aren't enemies. There is no animosity between us. We have all just gone our separate ways in life. My daughter mentioned the other day that one of my sisters said hello via Facebook. My first response was, "Pffffttt, whatever." The thing is, I know if I respond, nothing will happen.
For some reason, we can't get past the hello part and have a relationship.
I am bewildered at times, wondering how we got to this point. We were raised in a no communication, no signs of affection, environment, but, we clung to each other for warmth and friendship and solace.
Then, we gradually found others, usually men, who held us, told us what we wanted to hear, and the sisterhood faded away.
Maybe, it really was never there. Maybe I just saw what I wanted to see. Maybe, they were just waiting for the day to get out and create a new life- and that meant leaving everything behind, even sisters.
I doubt we will ever become companions again. Sometimes, it is too late to mend broken families. But, there are times when I miss them. I do miss them.
* One of the reasons I started this blog was to write about my past, sort of a public diary. Some people choose to keep the ugly stuff wrapped inside, but I never saw the point in that. I don't write any of this for sympathy, but, it's what and who I am and sometimes for me, it's just better to release truthiness and move on. Why do most of us write, anyway? No matter how fictional a story may be that you write, it's based on experience and past history, otherwise, it reads false. Readers know it and cannot relate. Even Steven King used true life experiences, such as his horrific accident, when writing fictional horror stories.
A lot of people like to embellish the past, perhaps clean it up a bit, or just simply forget it. I'm sure there a a small number who have gotten through life unscathed, who have had a rosy, twinkly life. I sure don't know any of them. Maybe, if we were a bit more honest, and exposed a raw wound now and then, it would be a more empathetic world. What if Newt just opened up and admitted to his mistakes? I think we'd feel for him.
If we lose the truth, what is the point of being?
5 comments:
I am very much for being frank, although it seems to hurt many people. In school I was taught, Jesus was like: in heaven they will call out all secrets from the roofs. I came to the conclusion it should be done already in this life, here on earth. It took me years to learn this doesn't work out. People complained to me, my being frank was flatout scary.
My basic error was: "I love goodness, life is more enjoyable if everybody is good, consequently any human being must be yearning for goodness." I was proved wrong for years, though couldn't believe it. "I Wanna Be Bad" was against any logic I was able to think out.
Finally I accepted (although it's against logic) a lot of people find nastiness, evilness kinda neat. But it is the truth.
That was the point when I began to protect myself -- more and more keeping my privacy. I consider even my face part of private data, it's always cut off on the web.
But honestly, I like my old ideas much better. Life would be so much better if we hadn't to hide....
It's impossible to find Stephanie Miller's old LiveBlogs, if not via old emails. So let me share this little dialog I had Friday on Mitt:
juliet bravo
So Mitt bought himself an audience and applause - surprise, surprise
Clarissa Smith
@juliet bravo: Why, he has to. All Republicans hate him. Without his money he probably wouldn't get anything.
juliet bravo
@Clarissa Smith: Sadly, true. He's the poster child for everything that's wrong with electoral politics. He doesn't stand for anything, because his father got in trouble for actually having a spine (and being right - the ultimate sin).
Clarissa Smith
@juliet bravo: Maybe he thinks he can change back to having a spine as soon as he's president. Won't work. If you once start spineless, you'll have to go on spineless. Depressing idea.
So Mitt's father once got into trouble for being honest? I didn't know that. Very interesting case....
Unfortunately, we do have to protect ourselves from people who have no interest in opinions that are different from their own, even if it's the truth.
I don't know who has the bigger ego, Mitt or Newt, but they are both dangerous people, in my opinion.
I am amazed too when you find a close family that stays in contact. It usually has a parent that is not dysfunctional. I was not that lucky. But so far my kids are far from friends but get along when we have get together s. But it takes lots of give and take and some forgiveness. With my brother it was a 6 year age difference. We really never got to know each other. Any way enough about me. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week :)
Yeah, I seem to know more dysfunctional families than the so called Brady Bunch type. Indeed, a lot of give and take.
Hey, I enjoyed visiting your blog. I think it's neat. : )
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